Trust and Patience

Let me know if I'm wrong here, but I think I'm sensing a pattern. 

On April 1st, 2010 I got a letter back from the Island School that they didn't have a spot for me, but that I had been wait-listed. "Sit tight," they said. "A spot might open up for you." I honestly can't remember my reaction, but  I can only assume that it was bad. Rejection hadn't shown itself in my life until this point, and for the first one, this one was rough. On Memorial Day Weekend of that year, I got a call from the Island School that a position had just opened, and that I had to let them know of my decision in 24 hours. Clearly, I made the decision and ended up hauling myself and 100 pounds of gear down to the Island of Eleuthera. 

On April 1st, 2012 while on my spring break in Mexico, I found out via Facetiming my grandma that I had not been accepted to the University of Southern California. They don't offer a wait list, this one was a clear rejection: we simply don't have room to accept you. When I got home and actually got to look at my rejection letter with my own eyes, there was a second piece of paper behind the official decision entitled, "How to appeal your admission decision." The process wasn't long, just to write a one-page letter explaining why I thought I deserved to be at USC. The chances of actually changing their mind was slim, but I tried anyway. I found out on May 5, 2012 that they did, in fact, change their mind. I got accepted for the spring semester of the next year, just not the fall so I could take the place of potential transfers, graduating students, etc.

I'm incredibly good at being on a wait list or getting something that wasn't supposed to happen originally. 

Yesterday, at 10:30 a.m. I opened an email that said there was not a position for me to be an RA next year, but that they would be keeping my file open as an alternate. 

In no way, shape or form am I holding onto certainty, belief or pretense that I will granted a position. My point I'm trying to make is not bragging about my accomplishments. It's not saying that I will always get what I want. My message is that there is incredible power that comes from the humility of rejection and honoring and praising God even in (or especially because of) that rejection. 

The night before I found out about my RA decision, I was reading from Jesus Calling, a daily quick devotional and this is what Sarah Young wrote:

"If you mouth the words 'I trust you' while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow." 

I am not waiting for Residence Life to call me and tell me they have an open position. I am simply listening and waiting, reflecting and praying on the next opportunity God will present to me. I am not waiting expectantly for what I want to happen, but for His will to be done through me.