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| Above: These are my biological brothers (Hayden, Jack and Nate), but I have a lot of boys that I call my "brothers" even when there is no DNA involved. Below: These are just a handful of women that mean the world to me (Paige, Laura, Emily, Morgan and Ali). |
One of the things that I pride myself on a lot is my lack of attachment. That sounds strict, awful, cold and many other things, but it's not. All it means is that I don't get homesick very easily. During my experience at the Island School, I like to say that it "beat" the homesickness out of me. We had no Internet, no cell phones, virtually no contact with the outside world save for one 20-minute phone call a week.
During my phone call, my friends would go to my house and everyone would sit around the kitchen table while I was on speakerphone. The 20 minutes were never long enough, but never short enough either. It was the perfect amount of time to get homesick enough that you wish you hadn't called or that you could simply transport yourself through the receiver of the phone. It was an incredibly hard process for 14 weeks and I never failed to cry my eyes out afterward.
This tough love in the form of distance was good for me, however. It taught me how to be on my own and how not to rely on my family as much as I had. So, when everyone else around me thought the idea of moving from Michigan to California was going to be so crazy and lonely, I simply brushed it off.
Being away from my family did not have a profound effect on me at all last semester, as I predicted. But this semester is way harder. With only five weeks left, I'm anxious to get back to my home state and to be with my family. I have three little brothers who are all growing so fast, which seems impossible that they would grow while I'm away. My mom and dad are the people I love most in this world. I simply have an incredible family. Being so close to see them, but still having to wait is killing me.
Not only that, but I miss my friends back home in Michigan. I have nine girls and a couple guy friends whose friendship is hard to explain, but irreplaceable. I've grown up with all of them. Those girls know who I am to my core probably more than anyone else in this world, and my guy friends are just additional brothers I count as family. I have a staff at the camp I work at that build me up in ways that I can never explain. There's something so powerful in serving with others. I can't wait to spend the summer with them again.
I miss the changes of the seasons in Michigan - there isn't much of that here. I miss Yesterdog, my favorite hot dog place. I miss being just a short seven-minute car ride away from Noodles and Company, here I have to drive two hours to San Diego to get to one. I miss my cats and my dogs. I miss the woods surrounding my house. I miss driving down my long, winding driveway past the fields and seeing my neighbors' cows.
It's incredibly hard for me right now 1.) to be away, and 2.) to even admit that it's hard. Prayers and words of encouragement would be invaluable right now. I only have five more weeks, but it's going to be a long five weeks.
PS - Tell your friends and family you miss them today. You probably take for granted every day what it's like to have a structured group of people around you.
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